The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Goedert is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
88%POTENCY
-10.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Goedert's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.