The Late Scratch Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Goedert is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
77%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A used challenge flag
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Goedert, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.