The Invisible Route Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Goedert gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
81%POTENCY
-12.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Goedert's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.