The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Goedert runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
89%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goedert's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.