The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Goedert's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- The broadcast shows Goedert on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
76%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Cardinals fan
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goedert's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.