The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
75%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Commanders jersey, ironically worn
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Goedert's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.