The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Ref: "Number Goedert, that's a flag." Goedert: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Goedert is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
81%POTENCY
-9.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single Browns jersey, ironically worn
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Cowboys locker room
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goedert's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.