The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Ref: "Number Goedert, that's a flag." Goedert: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
- Goedert finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
85%POTENCY
-18.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goedert's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.