The Hamstring Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
88%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A single Lions jersey, ironically worn
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Goedert drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.