The Late Scratch Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- A mysterious flag erases Goedert's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Goedert is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
82%POTENCY
-11.9PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Goedert's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.