The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
- Goedert is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
79%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goedert's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.