The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Goedert gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
86%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Goedert, Goedert, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.