The Hamstring Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Goedert is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
80%POTENCY
-13.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goedert's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.