The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Goedert's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets a "catch" that is overturned. Then another. The ref is now his nemesis.
- Goedert will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
91%POTENCY
-18PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Saints jersey, ironically worn
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goedert's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.