The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
- Goedert has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
72%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goedert's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.