The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Goedert scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
77%POTENCY
-11.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Goedert's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.