The Chip-and-Release Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
81%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A single 49ers jersey, ironically worn
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Eye of Chiefs, tongue of ref,
Bring Eagles down to grief,
Goedert scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.