The Mystery Tweak Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
72%POTENCY
-13.5PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A used challenge flag
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goedert's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.