The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
78%POTENCY
-11.8PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Goedert drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.