The Hamstring Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
- Goedert spikes the ball in celebration at the 3-yard line. He was not in the end zone.
82%POTENCY
-13.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Eye of Packers, tongue of ref,
Bring Eagles down to grief,
Goedert scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.