The Late Scratch Hex of Dallas Goedert
Dallas Goedert · PHI · TE
“Goedert is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Goedert's week
- Goedert will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Goedert gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of South Dakota State's biggest rival.
72%POTENCY
-13.3PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Eye of Titans, tongue of ref,
Bring Eagles down to grief,
Goedert scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Goedert in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Goedert is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Goedert actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.