The Late Scratch Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Stowers's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
84%POTENCY
-15.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A single Giants jersey, ironically worn
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.