The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
91%POTENCY
-15.4PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Browns locker room
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Stowers's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.