The Blocking Assignment Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- A mysterious flag erases Stowers's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
81%POTENCY
-9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Cardinals fan
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Stowers drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.