The Late Scratch Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.
- Stowers is targeted on a 3rd-and-17 and gains exactly 16 yards. Punt. Cry.
76%POTENCY
-17.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.