The Late Scratch Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers catches 2 balls for 11 yards and a nice hug from a referee.
- Stowers finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
85%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Commanders locker room
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Stowers's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.