The Blocking Assignment Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
89%POTENCY
-16.2PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Stowers's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.