The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Ref: "Number Stowers, that's a flag." Stowers: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
88%POTENCY
-12PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.