The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers stays in to block all game. A bold use of a fantasy asset.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.
- Stowers has his best game ever, but it is for the opposing fantasy manager in another league.
80%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.