The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Stowers scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
89%POTENCY
-11.9PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Stowers's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.