The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
92%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Stowers's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.