The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- A mysterious flag erases Stowers's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
76%POTENCY
-16.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A used challenge flag
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Eye of Seahawks, tongue of ref,
Bring Eagles down to grief,
Stowers scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.