The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.
85%POTENCY
-11.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.