The Mystery Tweak Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- Stowers will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
92%POTENCY
-17.7PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.