The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
85%POTENCY
-9.5PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single 49ers jersey, ironically worn
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Eye of Broncos, tongue of ref,
Bring Eagles down to grief,
Stowers scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.