The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Stowers is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Stowers gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Vanderbilt's biggest rival.
79%POTENCY
-19.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Stowers, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.