The Snap Count Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Ref: "Number Stowers, that's a flag." Stowers: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
- A mysterious flag erases Stowers's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
83%POTENCY
-15.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Stowers's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.