The Hamstring Hex of Eli Stowers
Eli Stowers · PHI · TE
“Rookie Stowers gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Stowers's week
- Stowers scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
- Stowers is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
89%POTENCY
-17.9PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Eagles locker room
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Stowers's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- DeVonta Smith
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Stowers in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Stowers is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Stowers actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.