The Phantom Flag Hex of Gunnar Helm
Gunnar Helm · TEN · TE
“The broadcast shows Helm on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Helm's week
- Helm finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Helm runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
92%POTENCY
-14PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A single Eagles jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Helm's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Carnell Tate
- Tony Pollard
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Gunnar Helm in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Gunnar Helm is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Gunnar Helm actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.