The Chip-and-Release Hex of Gunnar Helm
Gunnar Helm · TEN · TE
“Helm is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Helm's week
- Helm will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Helm gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Texas's biggest rival.
73%POTENCY
-11.2PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Dolphins jersey, ironically worn
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Helm drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Carnell Tate
- Tony Pollard
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Gunnar Helm in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Gunnar Helm is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Gunnar Helm actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.