The Chip-and-Release Hex of Gunnar Helm
Gunnar Helm · TEN · TE
“Helm gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Helm's week
- A mysterious flag erases Helm's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Helm is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
72%POTENCY
-9.7PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Saints locker room
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Helm's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Carnell Tate
- Tony Pollard
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Gunnar Helm in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Gunnar Helm is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Gunnar Helm actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.