The Garbage-Time Hex of Houston Texans
Houston Texans defense
“The Texans defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Houston Texans defense's week
- The Texans defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Texans defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
72%POTENCY
-10.5PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Ravens locker room
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Texans, Texans, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Kayshon Boutte
- Tank Dell
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse Houston Texans defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Houston Texans defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Houston Texans defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.