The Red-Zone Ghost Hex of Ian Thomas
Ian Thomas · LV · TE
“Thomas's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Thomas's week
- Thomas gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Indiana's biggest rival.
- Thomas lines up as a tackle on 61% of snaps. A beautiful new career for him.
87%POTENCY
-19.1PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Thomas drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ashton Jeanty
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
- Oronde Gadsden
FAQ
How do I curse Ian Thomas in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ian Thomas is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ian Thomas actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.