The Invisible Route Hex of Jelani Woods
Jelani Woods · NYJ · TE
“Woods finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Woods's week
- Woods runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
- Woods will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
90%POTENCY
-14.1PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Powdered kicker confidence
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Falcons locker room
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Woods drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Breece Hall
- Colston Loveland
- Garrett Wilson
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Jelani Woods in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jelani Woods is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jelani Woods actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.