The Chip-and-Release Hex of Jelani Woods
Jelani Woods · NYJ · TE
“Woods finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Woods's week
- Woods is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Woods is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
82%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Woods's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Breece Hall
- Colston Loveland
- Garrett Wilson
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Jelani Woods in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jelani Woods is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jelani Woods actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.