The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Jonathan Taylor
Jonathan Taylor · IND · RB
“Taylor finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Taylor's week
- Taylor gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.
- Taylor tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
82%POTENCY
-14PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Taylor drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
- Josh Jacobs
FAQ
How do I curse Jonathan Taylor in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jonathan Taylor is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jonathan Taylor actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.