The Checkdown Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- Cousins gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.
86%POTENCY
-13.7PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Cousins's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.