The Garbage-Time Hex of Miami Dolphins
Miami Dolphins defense
“The Dolphins defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Miami Dolphins defense's week
- The Dolphins defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Dolphins offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.
83%POTENCY
-17.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A single Bills jersey, ironically worn
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Lions locker room
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Dolphins, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kaytron Allen
- Jaylen Wright
- Malik Washington
- Chris Bell
- Caleb Douglas
- Greg Dulcich
- Carlos Washington Jr.
- Zane Gonzalez
- Jalen Reagor
- Ollie Gordon II
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Miami Dolphins defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Miami Dolphins defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Miami Dolphins defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.