The Garbage-Time Hex of Miami Dolphins
Miami Dolphins defense
“The Dolphins will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Miami Dolphins defense's week
- The Dolphins defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
- The Dolphins defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
84%POTENCY
-11.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Dolphins's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kaytron Allen
- Jaylen Wright
- Malik Washington
- Chris Bell
- Caleb Douglas
- Greg Dulcich
- Carlos Washington Jr.
- Zane Gonzalez
- Jalen Reagor
- Ollie Gordon II
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Miami Dolphins defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Miami Dolphins defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Miami Dolphins defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.