The Garbage-Time Hex of Miami Dolphins
Miami Dolphins defense
“The Dolphins defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Miami Dolphins defense's week
- The Dolphins will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
- The Dolphins defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
73%POTENCY
-13.4PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single tear from a Patriots fan
Incantation
Eye of Dolphins, tongue of ref,
Bring Dolphins down to grief,
Dolphins scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kaytron Allen
- Jaylen Wright
- Malik Washington
- Chris Bell
- Caleb Douglas
- Greg Dulcich
- Carlos Washington Jr.
- Zane Gonzalez
- Jalen Reagor
- Ollie Gordon II
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Miami Dolphins defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Miami Dolphins defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Miami Dolphins defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.